Christianity has been having a tough time of late. Child sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church (deemed “petty gossip” by a Vatican spokesman), Hutaree militias plotting to kill police officers, the list goes on. The Guardian’s Hadley Freeman has devised a decidedly tongue-in-cheek strategy to restore Christianity’s image:

1. Ally itself with Apple.
2. Check into a sex-addiction clinic.
3. Embark on a tour of the national media to tell everyone that Christianity is now going into hiding.
4. Hold press conferences at major group events to prove one’s humility, thereby ensuring that all attention is taken away from the other, competing religions.
5. Marry Jennifer Aniston or Cheryl Cole.

Please note the “Irreverant” categorization of this post. We all need a little satire once in a while. Read the whole thing here.